I'm not the girl I use to be (musicgoddess01) wrote in thousandmiles,
I'm not the girl I use to be

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I was fine a while ago....

I'm just bothered on so many different levels tonight.I guess depression is slowly creeping back into me and it's not as easy to shake off as it had been.I screwed up badly with Jim tonight and I feel horrible about the way I was acting,but seriously I don't know how to explain it...I don't believe I did anything wrong but the way I acted or reacted was what was wrong.It's just I feel like online unless you put an emotion with what you say depending with how you say I can take it wrong,kinda like when people log off on me makes me feel like they don't like me.I don't want to take Prozac again it took away so many things that have taken quite awhile to get back.Awhile ago I started crying because of something Jim had said to me that hurt...it probably wasn't meant to but as I said before depending on what you say I may take it wrong if it doesn't have a good emotion to it...

JimmyJimJim27: no no
SDBrnCACherry: what?
JimmyJimJim27: if you go the direst link will go and then Ill have to log on again
SDBrnCACherry: why dont you just sign on and find out?
SDBrnCACherry: it wont even take long
SDBrnCACherry: you afraid someone is going to bite?
JimmyJimJim27: cause then people will start talking to me and Ill get busy and I dont want to be busy
SDBrnCACherry: ....
SDBrnCACherry: ok
SDBrnCACherry: if you say so
JimmyJimJim27: what are the .........'s for?
SDBrnCACherry: because it's such a simple task
SDBrnCACherry: you wouldn't even get on AIM from MSN
SDBrnCACherry: you are not usually like that
JimmyJimJim27: yes logging on is, but telling people I dont want to talk to them isnt, ok?
SDBrnCACherry: ....ok

Don't know if you get what I mean but I guess I took something wrong that I shouldn't of but it was just the way he said the last line that hurt...am I right or wrong for how I feel?*sighs* I'm mess and haven't improved lately...
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