Jim (jimmyjimjim) wrote in thousandmiles,

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I dont really know what to say.

Its amazing how no matter how many times I tell myself I cant possibly love you more, it happens. And no matter how many times I try to count the ways you touch my life, I can never get them all. Everything about you amazes me. From the way you look at me to the way you hold my hand. Each visit has been a little longer, but the time spent with you seems so much shorter, it doesnt seem fair that when it seems like I just got here its time to go again.

Baby I dont know if I can do it again. Theres been some rough times in my life, Ive lost people, been hurt by people and felt so lost and empty. But there is nothing that compairs to how much it hurts and how hard it is to look into your eyes, and whipe a tear away and tell you I have to go. Ive never felt more lost and empty than I do each time I feel your hand slip away and know I wont hold it again for months, or how much it breaks my heart to see you as you walk away, and know I wont see that smile, or look into those eyes, or just look at your beautiful face again for months. Its funny how thinking about another departure, scares me more than a burning building, or anything else I can think of.
I meant it when I told your mother I could see myself spending the rest of my life with you. The trouble is, that doesnt seem long enough. They say in heaven though, that theres everything you ever wanted, so Im sure that even after a lifetime with you, there will be more.
Please stay strong,dont let your mom get to you anymore, dont let school worry you, do your best at everything you do and learn from mistakes, dont let them get you down, and never give up.
No matter what happens, or how bad things may look sometimes, I will never stop loving you. I hope you always remember that. I love you now and forever. 5 months isnt that long to wait when you think about the rest of our lives. If you want to come to Canada, work hard, do what you have to do to get there, and dont be afraid to ask me or my mother or anyone else in my family for help. And if it comes down to it, Ill move to California.
I should be getting to bed now, its tempting to just go back to your room and wake you ask ask to hold you for just a bit longer, but Ill let you sleep, Ill see you in the morning, and I hope the last 8 days of this visit will be just as good as the rest, g'night, sweet dreams, and always remember, I love you.
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